BLOTUS

Boss Leader Of The United States

Presents

THE CLIMATE CONTROLLED FUTURE

BLOTUS has shown that he can control the Political Climate, the Business Climate, and the Climate Of The Court in only two years.

Earth’s Climate should be no problem.

His life takes place in a Climate Controlled environment.

Even when he is out of doors it’s on the White House lawn or a perfectly manicured golf course.

When he sees the devastation of wildfires in California he waves his hands and simply says, “Rake it up.”

Remember, there were no trees in The Jetsons.

Puerto Rico is blown away by Hurricane Maria, and he tosses rolls of paper towels to the citizenry.

It makes perfect sense to him.

Puerto Ricans keep his properties neat and clean using the same paper towels.

Their experience as his wage slaves should come in handy.

Sounds kinda silly doesn’t it.

Stop and think for a moment.

BLOTUS takes great pride in the fact that he has never dirtied his hands doing anything in his life.

He’d have someone wipe his butt if it weren’t so embarrassing to have a brown person see his soft white underbelly, touch his flaccidly gelatinous ass, and smell the disgusting log he produces.

In his omnipotent vision of the future he can simply have bathroom attendants killed after each deposit and cleansing is complete, flushed away along with the waste.

I’m sure he relishes tales about Potentates of Yore who did such things.

A disaster for him is cold, greasy fries with his Mickey D’s burger, or the wind messing his hair.

He would be perfectly content to live above the fray in a hermetically sealed, air conditioned penthouse, surrounded by the trappings of wealth and power, along with access to Twitter and TV news.

Flooding, wildfires, famine, pestilence and such trivialities would all take place at street level, no skin off his nose.

Should there be a reason to leave the confines if his crystal palace, an air lock will protect him until he is inside the heavily armored and climate controlled transport vehicle.

It’s pretty much what he does now.

BLOTUS is a child of The 50s, when might made right, and everything was black and white, a simpler world of winners and losers, into which he was born a preordained winner.

His act as the tough guy from Queens who clawed his way to the top and shook up the world is pure entertainment for his own puerile pleasure.

I can see BLOTUS seated on a golden throne with velvet cushions in his garish penthouse, TV news that’s all about him blaring throughout the room, surrounded by gorgeous slave girls in revealing lingerie, with gold plated duct tape over their mouths, being regaled by Roger’s tales of polymorphic sexual experiences as he sits giggling with his hands jammed between his legs to hide his prepubescent boner.

If you don’t believe that, consider this.

His explanation of how tough things were for him starts with the sad fact that he was only given a million dollars to start off with.

We now know that ‘meager’ amount is a lie, but more importantly he is so out of touch that he believes a million dollars of 1960s money is short change.

And to this day cannot understand why anyone doubts him.

He said it was true, that’s that.

I defer to George Costanza who told Jerry, “It’s not a lie if you believe it.”

Why on Earth would his base fall for this act?

MAGAs were born to be disgruntled.

As kids they heard bitter adults constantly grousing about the unfairness of life, while they waited for The Eagle to shit.

BLOTUS was born to play the MAGAs like a sad country fiddle.

In his mind he represents the dream life, all that’s good about The American Dream, everything the MAGAs can never achieve.

But, if they are lucky and complacent enough, BLOTUS may toss them a bone or two along the way.

No MAGA ever dreamed of anything more than retiring from their mind numbing factory job to spend their remaining days in a Barcalounger, with a big screen TV, and a cold beer to begin with.

The MAGA men want to be him, arrogantly strutting his stuff while everything goes his way, and the women want to fuck him, because he offers the princess life they fantasize about.

BLOTUS says he’s on their side, the money shitting Eagle of their dreams.

He began his reign by tossing them all a grand.

I bet Walmart sold more big screen TVs that week than any other time in history.

It took only a few days for that $1000 to be back in the hands of the Walton clan, the richest family in America.

But the MAGAs will never forget it.

BLOTUS is now featured all day every day on those giant screens, in full HD, filling MAGA living rooms across the country with his vitriolic bellyaching about the plight of the unfortunate white men who lost their miserable factory jobs, which, ironically, they all hated from day one.

Try to imagine his promises blaring at you while you sit staring from your worn out Barcalounger, surrounded by whining rugrats, eating your Gubmint Cheese sandwich, popping pain pills, and washing it down with a warm can of cheap beer, still waiting for The Eagle to drop a deposit in your lap.

BLOTUS, blasting your neurons with his hollow sincerity, repeating over and over again that he is your guy and all will be well if you give him the power he needs to make it happen, sounds better and better.

He is, after all, the only game in town.

But we digress.

Back to the issue at hand.

BLOTUS AND CLIMATE CHANGE

Simple.

Just like Saudi Arabia, there’s too much money at stake to let the truth get in the way.

BLOTUS stands with the deniers.

Try this.

Picture BLOTUS lined up with all the big time deniers in your mind, look at them and consider how much longer they have to live.

Now consider their circumstances.

Each has something to gain by ignoring environmental issues.

Even the worst case scenario doesn’t predict doom in what’s left of their lifetimes.

The greatest wealth and power stems from the use of fossil fuels.

Changing the status quo to ensure a future for those who come next takes time and will devastate the denier’s wealth.

That’s all they can see.

Men with no future are deciding the future.

The long held idea of working for a future that is better than what you had has left the building.

To the deniers, that kind of thinking is a loser from the get go.

BLOTUS is their guy.

Simply put, BLOTUS’ wealth all comes from the need to fly for business, stay in hotels, be entertained, and play golf.

All of those things are dependent on the Energy Status Quo remaining in place.

BLOTUS has too much invested in the way things are to even consider change.

He has lived his entire life ignoring anything that does not suit him.

As mentioned, Earth’s changing climate extends to the Climate Of The Court, The Business Climate, and hence The Political Climate.

BLOTUS and his crew of international thieves have it all riding on things staying as is for the rest of their lives.

But, first, they must maintain Climate Control, in all its many meanings.

After that, the world can go to hell in a handbasket for all they care.

Energy from fossil fuels makes the big wheel turn.

It’s The Holy Grail to the old white men in power.

Their bucket list cannot be fulfilled without it.

There is one thing standing in their way, The Natural Course Of Events.

EARTH LOVES CHANGE

Changes, brought on by the Natural Course Of Events, have taken this planet from molten rock to verdant paradise.

These changes created our niche and are the reason we now live here.

What’s not to love?

Yet, today, we live in fear of the changing Earth.

Rising global temperatures, seemingly caused by carbon emissions generated from our use of fossil fuels, appear to be altering our niche for the worse.

Global Warming will have an enormous negative effect on us and our fossil fuel based economy, causing unimaginable loss of life.

But, if we had never developed the fossil fuel economy, we’d still be living in villages, with little or no contact outside our small world.

Our population would be a small fraction of what it has become since the dawn of The Anthropocene.

A comet could strike the middle of the Pacific Ocean, leading to a Tsunami that totally engulfs Hawaii, and we’d never know about it until the wave hit the West Coast.

Even then we’d be faced with wide eyed word of mouth stories told by survivors, leading to fear based legends.

Fear based legends led to cutting out beating hearts and sacrificing virgins.

The MAGAs of old had no choice but to accept these practices, giving up their innocent daughters and first born sons in an appeal to the gods for mercy.

Following the Tsunami, inexplicable pestilence caused by rotting carcasses strewn from California to the Southwest desert would infect survivors, who would migrate inland, contaminating settlement after settlement with unknown diseases.

North America’s human population would soon be devastated.

So would the Pacific Rim, Australia, and parts of coastal South America.

But the survivors would never know what happened elsewhere, nor would they understand what brought on their misfortune.

Armageddon would become a personal thing, dead is dead, whether by the blinding flash of a Nuke or the insidious rotting away caused by an invisible microbe.

Right about then, some confused guy foraging through the hills of Pennsylvania would notice black goop oozing from the ground.

His discovery would lead to, guess what, development of a fossil fueled economy.

Here we go again!

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